Small Parts (excerpt from a work-in-progress) part 1

I remember sneaking up on him, crawling across the nappy green carpet in my scratchy nightgown. Sometimes staples stick up from hidden ridges and prick my knees. The carpet is green and smooshed like fields after a storm, with mysterious, stitched rivers dividing the landmasses. I crawl to the end table that’s dull and sticky. Two owls with glassy, yellow eyes sit on their perch, holding up the dingy lampshade. A glass ashtray takes up the rest of the room. I watch his profile as he smiles and talks with his brother–my new uncle–who sits among empty beer cans on the other side of the dim living room. They’re talking with words I don’t quite understand. He laughs, so I laugh. I like his dimples. I like everything about this strange, new character. We’re learning how to spell his last name. He wants us.

He hears me laugh and slowly turns an annoyed, oily face in my direction. My hair is still wet from the tub. He puffs a large cloud of cigarette smoke into my shiny face. They laugh. I cough and laugh, too. They keep talking. It means go away.

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3 thoughts on “Small Parts (excerpt from a work-in-progress) part 1

  1. Interesting..

    I assume the main character is a baby. And that “Two ols ” means “two owls.” Maybe… It read well so far. Would like to see the rest when you post it. Do you have a outline? Is this part of something much bigger?

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  2. I’m posting bits and pieces. Yes, it’s a part of something much bigger–something i’ve been piecing and unpiecing together for years. Life had to happen in order for it to come closer to a closed circle. Should I do an outline?

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  3. Well nothing’s required in writing – and I’ve only written on story that was over 50 pages – but I find an outline can be helpful. For one it helps you avoid the problem seen in a lot of stories where the ending seems rushed, or doesn’t seem to be the logical end to the problems brought up in the story. That’s something I’ve dealt with and it can be avoided when you think ahead and plan out the ending and how you’ll lead up to.

    It also focuses things, and reduces messy tangents… Some people do well without them though. It’s just a suggestion.

    Keep writing, and I’ll keep visiting the site. 🙂

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