Three Poems | Narrative Magazine (Matthew Dickman)

from “Benevolence” by Matthew Dickman at Narrative; a real heart-breaker

Even as I watched my older brother

skin knee after knee, break bone after bone—

always surviving, always

being able to bite down on what

the world had given him, what he had made

of it, and still walk along the bases, the streets, the rugs

of countless therapists, still swallow

the glowing pills humming in the bottom of countless paper cups,

his arms bound to the bed by cotton straps,

the razor he once slid along his arm like a beam of light—

I couldn’t manage the smallest cut,

the most laughable bruise. When I walked out

into the backyard and held the rock in my hand

I wanted so badly not just to throw it, but to hit something and make it hurt.

via Three Poems | Narrative Magazine.

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