DEGREES

I

I am surrounded in color

the yellow haze, the wet purple

of lilacs, the orange chains

of rust and motor oil.

Here, I am space ready for filling.

II.

I am surrounded in weight

weight that pushes and hides

and blindfolds me in curtains

of blood and faceless entrance.

I am a void being filled with dirt,

a heavy shovel, a man’s sweaty hands;

he fills me.

Here, I forget the the weight for years.

III.

I am surrounded in cold;

after the music, there is a numbing

that spreads like ink;

a chill that never disperses

as I come undone in the mirror.

Here, my brain fills with lesions.

IV.

I am surrounded in heat and noise

I am surrounded in voices

calling my name, whispering to me.

I am surrounded by godless stars

where the vacuum of space fills my heart,

embedding tracks of memories

across my chest,  intersecting my veins.

Here, I am white noise, breaking.

Here I am angry.  So angry.

Here, alone in my room I whisper

Be Brave, Resist, Fight

 

I touched the first sparks of a wild fire

before I learned the truth of pain.

Here, now,

I’m learning to fill within the wound.

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4 thoughts on “DEGREES

  1. wow…completely evocative…particularly that second stanza…you lead well into it with the empty for the filling…the build in this one is really nicely done…great verse…

    Like

  2. This is a poem I can really relate to; every word speaks to me on a personal level. In particular, these lines stood out for me:

    “I touched the first sparks of a wild fire

    before I learned the truth of pain.”

    I know that feeling. Wonderful write.

    Like

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